Prayer for Unraveling

This is something I wrote back in December, when my church was in really bad straits. Last week, when my 3 year old decided to use my brand new laptop as a knee board across the hardwood floor (grrrrr!), I felt myself unravelling all over again. So while the context of this card was the unravelling of my local church, it seemed pretty applicable to all situations in life when I hang on to expectations I didn't realize I even had. (Such as... I can expect that a piece of expensive computer equipment will be treated with respect. Or that a young child will understand that standing and kneeling on such items causes them a lot of damage that Mommy and Daddy have to pay for. I didn't realize that I had these specific expectaions, but when Anna scooched herself over to the

kitchen via my spankin' new MacBook, I SURE discovered that there were some perceived rights I was clinging to!!)

I printed out my Prayer for Unravelling and glued it onto a pice of cool fabric with the ends unravelled. The text is tiny, so I've copied it below.

-Erin

Prayer for Unravelling

Lord, my life seems to be coming apart
From so many ends
Churches that discipled me, that still disciple me
Falling apart
Members of your Bride, dismembering themselves
Leaving,
Saying things they ought not say
They're out the door with no reconciliation
Is your Bride unravelling?

I feel like we're out of control
Just spinning, spinning, spinning
Who's in charge? Who has the reputation of Christ in mind?
Who is sacrificing their desires, their rights, their pride for the sake of Christ?
WHO is in Charge?

WHO is.
In charge.
I AM.
In charge.
(Precisely.)

In order to use this ball of yarn, I first have to unravel it.
I need to untangle what's tangling.
What seems a spinning out of control to you, is simply My skilled hand untangling your hearts

I must spread this yarn to its length.
Far and wide.
The two ends may never meet again- until I've completed my creation.

To unravel this yarn's perception of itself
It's perception of Me and my grace
It's assumptions about what I hold dear
To unravel its high opinion of itself
Its feeling that it was doing alright, when really,
That easily-contained clump of yarn
Was utterly unuseable to Me.

I AM is unravelling me.
I AM is unravelling His Bride.
I AM has a design for this ball of yarn- but first it must be untangled.
To be useful in the I AM's hands, I must submit my tangly heart to His unravelling.
Dizzying as it is.

I AM, unravel my marriage.
I AM, unravel my relationship with my children.
I AM, untangle my church.

I AM, make us useable and then use us.
Make me something of purpose for your grand design.
Lord, undo me.